


Hesitation

by CheetahLeopard2



Series: A new Life [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Kozume Kenma, M/M, Trans Akaashi Keiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/pseuds/CheetahLeopard2
Summary: Keiji couldn't tell him in the end. He couldn't ruin Koutarou's life with this. He'd raise this child.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jadebrycin2116](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadebrycin2116/gifts), [baublegum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baublegum/gifts).
  * Inspired by [And Baby Makes Three](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844202) by [baublegum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baublegum/pseuds/baublegum). 



> Based off of chapter 48 of baublegum's And Baby Makes Three, it makes more sense if you read that first!

In the end he couldn’t do it.

Keiji watched with a sinking heart and flipping stomach as Koutarou’s train pulls away, the oblivious almost-college-student waving excitedly from the window. Happy. Completely unaware how forced Keiji’s slight smile is. Of the life stirring in Keiji.

 

\---

 

 Keiji is aware the first three months before school starts would not be a reprieve, and he needs to plan his-no, his and his child’s- future accordingly.

The first week passes in a blur of online research, texts to the team, and the occasional call from his traveling parents. Only one thing from that first week stands out in hindsight- Keiji decides to look into abortion.

 

\---

 

The lady at the front desk has a nice smile, the first thing Keiji notices when he tentatively enters the clinic, unwittingly causing his taut body to relax.

Only for him to go rigid, “As you are a minor, we need the father’s signature unless the child is a result of rape, in which case we need a parent or guardian to sign.”

Keiji pushes the forms back to the lady across the counter, departing with a queasy smile.

He runs into Konoha at the station and they talk a bit.

Keiji doesn’t remember a single word.

 

\---

 

 The second week Keiji’s morning sickness gets worse,and he dedicates his time to researching an easy food that would help. Easy being quick to make and something that won’t spoil easily. After lots of experimenting, trips to the supermarket with some of the cash his parents sent in, and 6 consecutive hours in the bathroom, Keiji finds an easy bento kit that only made him retch twice.

 

\---

 

 The third week, Keiji sets his sights to the future. 

He’d have to quit volleyball, obviously. That...hurts. An odd blunt knife in his ribs. Although certainly in part because he loves the game, part of Keiji saw volleyball as something he shares with Koutarou. A final link that will be severed when he passes captaincy on to another and leaves that gym for the last time.

And Keiji knows that he  _ does  _ have to pass on the captaincy.

Which means that, four months along, the team would no doubt notice. If the team is going to notice anyway, he could probably, at the very least, help the managers? As long as word of the pregnancy didn’t make it back to Koutarou.

 

\---

 

The fourth week he spent trying to figure out how school would work. He’d have to discuss his situation with each individual sensei, as well as the principal, he deduces after going through an online edition of the Fukurodani rulebook. He’d have to know his classes first, and he would not be exempt from any assignments but allowed to turn some in late.

 

\---

The fifth week of break is a blur of calls. First to the principal who gives him a list of his senseis and their numbers. Keiji know’s he’s exceptionally lucky that his schedule’s already been determined, him going into third year and having his family name almost first on the alphabetical roster.

Luckily as well, the principal was accepting, having had her first child, a certain Koutarou Bokuto’s older sibling, when she was in high school. She promised not to tell Koutarou, understanding Keiji’s choice of at least attempting to get into Koutarou’s university before possibly destroying Koutarou’s future.

 

\---

 

 The next month and a half pass without incident, Keiji jogging every day for about half a mile in a secluded area before staying home and lazing around. He’d read that exercise would be good in measured amounts for the development of the child and that stress would be bad. So Keiji became more of a shut-in. His stomach got bigger, texts to Koutarou were dealt with in the least conspicuous way possible, and so life went on.

 

\---

 

  And then, half a week before school was set to begin, a blessing veiled in disaster struck in the form of a couple cats.

Keiji, almost four months along and in a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt, looks up from his book at the knock on the door. He gently sets down his mug of tea on the counter and stops swinging his legs, sliding out of his seat by the counter, “I’m coming!”

 The knocks stop and Keiji opens the door to reveal Kenma and Kuroo, whose gazes are immediately drawn down.

Keiji follows their gazes and freezes when he realizes how obvious the bump of his stomach is.

Kuroo begins to freak-the-fuck-out™, leaning forward and bouncing slightly, pointing at Keiji with wide eyes, “YOOOOoooouuuuu-”

Kenma rolls their eyes and pulls the door closed, leaving Keiji to freak out as he hears Kenma scolding Kuroo and then another knock.

Keiji opens the door and Kenma slips in with a, “Sorry about him.”

Kuroo trails after them with a quiet, “Pardon the intrusion.”

“I’ll… get you some tea.” Keiji mumbles, leading them to the kitchen.

Kuroo intervenes after the shaking of Keiji’s fingers cause him to drop the bag for the third time.

“How about I make the tea and you sit by Kenma?” the question is gentle, and soothes Keiji mildly as he shakily heads over to sit with Kenma, fiddling with his fingers.

Tension builds in the silence and Keiji can sense the stinging of tears that he refuses to let fall.

“Soooo,” Kuroo begins as he takes the seat on Keiji’s other side, “how are you doing?”

The first tear drops, and Keiji feels himself being pulled into Kuroo’s embrace, head tucked under Kuroo’s chin as Keiji sobs. Kenma stills Keiji’s fingers by taking his hands and rubbing soothing circles in the back of them.

“Please don’t tell Bokuto-san,” Keiji finally manages to whisper.

“Okay.” Kuroo shakily exhales, Keiji can feel his chest stuttering, “Okay.”

Kenma tugs Keiji’s hand, a silent plea to look at them, which he does.

“How long?”

Keiji is relieved that the first question is objective, he has no idea what his mental state is.

“Almost four months.”

“Have you been healthy?”

“Yeah.” If his extensive internet searches are accurate.

“Is it Bo’s?” Kuroo tentatively asks.

Keiji tenses, then forces himself to relax, “Yes.”

Kenma spend the next few days before school bringing everything he needs to survive at the Akaashi residence, and Kuroo promises to come over whenever possible.

 

\---

 

When Keiji goes to practice to tell the team he’s wearing a big, loose enough sweatshirt that they don’t notice at first.

As soon as he takes off his shoes the new team turns to him, It looks like there are some interesting first years, and Onaga had come back.

Everyone was, needless to say, surprised. There’s not much to be done about it though, so the new time was supportive. Protective, even.

The new manager, Suzumeda, offers that Keiji help with strategizing every few practices, which Keiji happily agrees to.

 

\---

 

The next couple of months go by without a hitch, Keiji’s parents calling every night to make sure he’s okay and telling him of their travels.

Keiji’s parents are researchers, and the year prior when they had gotten the offer to go around the world for a company-funded project Keiji had pushed them to accept. They say that their trip has been extended almost to the end of the school year. Keiji has until just before the end of the school year to tell them.

All’s well…. Until Koutarou drops by to visit his mom and decides to check in on the team.

He throws open the gym doors with an exuberant, “Hey hey hey!!!~” expecting a fond sigh and a, ‘Not so loud, Bokuto-san.’ but is instead met with silence.

“Where’s Keiji?” he asks a puzzled first year.

“Akaashi-senpai? I don’t think he’ll be in today. Something about not having enough pain killers?”

Why would Keiji need painkillers? Did he get hurt? Koutarou thanks the first year and tries to remember the way to Keiji’s house.

Koutarou is greeted after his incessant doorbell ringing by a thrown-open door, behind which is a spatula-wielding Tetsurou Kuroo with bags under his eyes yelling, “If you try to prank us  _ one more fucking time _ I swear-” only to freeze when he sees who it is.

“Bro!” Koutarou greets, slipping inside and taking off his shoes.

“What’s the fuss Kuro?” Kenma walks into the entryway, freezing and eyes widening when their gaze lands on Koutarou.

“Is it those kids agai-?” Behind Kenma is a six-months-along Keiji. Very obviously very big. And quickly becoming white as a sheet.

Koutarou -bless his heart- doesn’t even notice, just makes a beeline for Keiji and hugs him the best he can.

Koutarou only notices when his arms don’t fit around Keiji as easily as they used to.

“Oya?” he questions, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it.

“Ou-Our baby, Koutarou.” Keiji, to his credit, doesn’t waver too much as he says this. He quickly gains a smile at the childlike wonder painted across Koutarou’s face. He’s slightly worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, and Koutarou doesn’t see any of it. He’s captivated by this spark of life that he created with Keiji, separated from his hands only by the skin and tissue that allowed Keiji to grow this miracle for months.

“You’re incredible.” Koutarou unabashedly breaths at Keiji, reverent.

The sound of a nose being blown reminds them that they’re not alone.

Kenma rolls their eyes and hands Kuroo, who’s sobbing, another tissue, “So good. So pure. So beautiful. My bro’s going to be a dad! I’m going to be a broncle! I haven’t slept in three days! Kitten!” Kuroo turn to Kenma, a serious expression with red eyes, “We should have one!”

Kenma turns steadily redder, “Eventually, Kuro. Eventually.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that was okay?! I wrote this to deal with stress about the election. Constructive criticism appreciated!


End file.
